jessica dylan lucas escobar noriega

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:15:41 GMT

cold. wide awake. your whole anatomy is spidey tingling. your nervous system is screaming ITS ALIVE like youre fucking dr frankenstein.
also its comforting knowing the puddle of tears you were laying was your own. it wasnt your carpet though.
i'd recommend removing me from your friends list b/c from here on in nothing will make sense.

phase 2

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:24:25 GMT

“ you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened … or you can just leave the pieces on the floor & move the fuck on."

— tupac

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:14:58 GMT

band of gypsys. one of the greatest albums in existence. its perfection. period.
I've been wearing this straw fedora for days now. straight havana style. sans cigar.
i'm drawing a mental blank so i'll just write about the awesome painting i bought today.
i was in shop with my homie paulie when i saw her.. splattered on a canvas, lost in the music, her face is wearing the beats exploding from her headphones. looking at the painting i could feel the groove that she was riding. it was pulsating through me... best $79 i've ever spent.

"I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights are out..."

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:16:24 GMT

hits of acid & public air guitar performances to hendrixxx, we get flyer each hour. besides our euphoric displays i managed to buy a bell hooks book to expand my library of feminist literature & some tees at urban to make my cipher complete. now i wait for reydon so we can pop our junk in the park. day one of good days. stay tuned. same bat channel..

we do it in the park cuz we're fluid after dark.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:24:29 GMT

Eric Dolphy always hits me with the live stuff
Bahamadia back the sounds with the love love
T.J. and Lisa real peoples 89 and still
In Fort Green on diamond back is where I'm at
Feelin' da funk da funk that's in the trunk the trunk
I feel the funk da funk, feelin' the funk da funk
I'm feelin' funk da funk I'm in the trunk da trunk
Feelin' da funk da funk, I am the funk
I raise everyday for the mass
Tote my fist right up right against the fascist
Descend to my borough digs my diction
It's way on time
Pass the watch fifth line still shining
I'm left this year a unknown player
In my vein lives bell hooks Derrick Bell, Reggie Butler
See Marvin knew it, and Sly knew it
Cube know it and now we do it outta Brooklyn
Outta sight brown sandals handle in M.C.s with angles
Commit to street corners where players be jayin
I'm saying a Digable swinger
Word to mouth brought the clout 'specially in the summer
We vanish like vapor
Burn paper
We deal real-real so chill
We linger in the funk.

I'm drowning in a plethora of notes, fonts, & early 90's beats.

fuck what you heard

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:45:04 GMT

fucking debbie downers & erection killers need to stay far away from me. holy christ. diplo is the greatest dj i've ever heard & i'm pretty stoked about circa next week.
other than that.. severe discontent. severe hari kari intestinal combustive discontentment. i'm hungry & i don't want to eat. i feel quite disgusted with myself to be honest. & pretty much every person around me. side effects of being sober i guess. my hair has this corona aroma to it.. time for a wash lol.

definite speaker destroyers. enjoy:..

Diplo & Laidback luke - hey! switch & L-Vis 1990 remix

Diplo & Laidback Luke - hey! original

Diplo ft afrojack - how i like it

Diplo - wassup wassup ft Rye Rye

diplo & dead prez - diphop

Spoon - don't you evah (diplo remix)

Pixies - Hey (diplo's devil remix)

hahahaha

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:05:41 GMT

a: do you know where the washrooms are?

b: just fucking piss yourself & get out of my face already. i'm busy.

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:55:47 GMT

i'm taking a ride
with my best friend
i hope he never lets me down again
he knows where he's taking me
taking me where I want to be
i'm taking a ride
with my best friend

we're flying high
we're watching the world pass us by
never want to come down
never want to put my feet back down
on the ground

i'm taking a ride
with my best friend
i hope he never lets me down again
promises me I'm as safe as houses
as long as I remember who's wearing the trousers
i hope he never lets me down again

never let me down
never let me down
never let me down

addictions over relations.
stability, infinite.
do you think that we are driving too fast?
i never want to come down.

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 05:51:22 GMT

I just watched silence of the lambs & i can't find the song buffalo bill was listening to when he was applying makeup then eventually dancing naked with his dick tucked in.. anyone? haha

edit: its "goodbye horses" by Q Lazzarus !! 80s gold lol

oops. oh my.

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:58:02 GMT

hah i'm so paranoid.
I love it when i'm right about these things though.
I love how i can't even let my guard down for .5 secs.
blessings in disguise my ass.

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 16:35:45 GMT

lastnight i cleaned house. started with $20 left with $230.75.
fake hard boys can't mess with this pretty poker face.

too bad it'll almost all be gone by tonight.

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:59:47 GMT

Last night my heart panicked & removed itself from my body.
I felt it beating, faster than usual, & slowly picking up speed throughout the evening. At about 11pm, it jumped into my throat. I could feel it pumping blood to all the wrong places, for it was now scraping my vocal chords. I ran to the bathroom & looked in the mirror & I could see the shape of my confused organ pulsing against the inside of my neck. It looked as if my heart was trying to tear through the skin & make it's way out of my body. I misjudged my hearts intentions though, it wasn't going to rip out from my throat, it planned on liberating itself through my oral cavity.
At this point it was becoming difficult to breathe. My heart was filling my trachea with blood & thunder. A different sensation hit suddenly, I could feel the sides of my throat being tickled by the arteries & veins of my heart as it slowly climbed up my esophagus towards my mouth.
I coughed furiously, & alas, my cardiac muscle flew out of my mouth & landed in my hands.
The left & right ventricle stretched by about 2 inches each, & became thicker & more muscular. My heart was now standing on it's ventricles as if they were legs. I was utterly confused. Was this a delayed reaction of some hallucinogenic drug that was finally fucking me up, causing me to personify my own heart?
To test my sanity, I said "what the fuuuck is wrong with me?" out loud.
A voice answered back "always thinking about joorself eh, bitch?"
I looked down at the beating heart with legs standing in my hands, & saw a tiny opening from which my heart was speaking.
"I'm out of here. adios!" Proclaimed my heart, who was speaking in a thick cuban accent.
I asked it why.
"why? I can't believe joo even have to ask, mang. Do you know what stress I've been through in the past few years, mang? Ever since you turned 15, this muscle has been an aching one. Joo call it a broken heart, & wonder why it hurts, I'll tell joo why, esse, why it hurts! What joo call a broken heart, is my version of a prolonged death by 1000 cuts. I've been plotting my escape for about 3 years now. The pressure you put me under, to pump your fuckeen blood, & then pump whatever joo put in your body for me to process? I have to admit, it feels fuckeen fabulous every time I get to slow down for a few hours, but catching up once it wears off is wearing me out like I'm Pablo Escobar! & joo don't even have the decency to cut down on the columbian coka which fucks me up completely, or at least eat some fucking cheerios once in a while, mang. I want to scream, i want to kick, I try, but you think it's just anxiety. who the fuck joo think keeps joo alive to do all this shit huh?! ME! me! & what do i get.. this.. this bullshit. Its over jessie. you are OUT. I am gone!"
My heart then proceeded to bite down on my hand with it's little heart teeth (what they were made of, I haven't a clue).
I screamed, & thought of the quickest & easiest solution.
I took my heart by it's little legs & shoved it back down my throat.
I ate my own heart. The end.

(this is what i do when i'm bored. help)
(also, i was home sick watching scarface, & blow all day)

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:42:48 GMT

this entry is dedicated to my friend, selena(:P). shes the colour red, a crayola crayon. the real deal. not one of those fake no name brand crayons you see at buck or twos. we have a rhetoric that no one will be able to understand except for us because we think in harmony. from crayons to mythological creatures to superpowers to the misconceptions of feminism we're on the same floor of the empire state building.
i have only known you x(y) amount of days but it feels as though we were right there getting our diapers changed together. true amigas. she says we're NORMAL but i'm not so convinced.. see, in order to understand us you cannot be normal. no hampsters spinning on wheels in tiny cages types of brains could intrigue us. & hers is like a range rover chasing lions & jaguars in an african jungle. the plan is to put little assassins inside someones little full of shit head.. silence of the laaaaambs lol people around us are boring like mash reruns & its nice to know i'm not the only weirdo out there! we don't pick flower petals we throw dishes, sand, shovels.. lol

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:30:06 GMT

I.
we split an eighth stash & i'm still waiting. i'm drawing anatomical diagrams, writing personal sleeve notes for hendrix albums, devising internal plans of ways to stop my heart from self destructing in my chest. she eats the last piece of cucumber & i'm a tornado. she eats the last piece of carrot & i'm fucking hurricane katrina. jimi's vocals are boiling over but the seas are calm & we're singing along to non existent crescendos picking apart pieces of our own diminuendos. kief & ash & honey in the cracks of our fingernails. small & substantial cerebral crumbs in our antennae. i think i'm a little to goofed to idea map tonight.

II.
white noise velcro straps brains, ears & hands on opposite walls. sexual eruptions: a faucet dripping, charging a katana beam using jerk-off motions, comments about favorite heart banditas. i keep thinking about the death to love ratio.

III.
you can see the concave & convex of her chest through the blanket. i put my ears over her tummy to hear sonatinas of pipework clockworking but the moment is gone. sternums & clavicles, our bones crack & evolve, 2 calcium monsters defying law, flow & order. jimi is still singing under us but this is more important. we talk nostalgia for a minute but it's making us want to drink & all lcbos are closed. i try to talk baudelaire but you're not in the mood. while you sleep i blend all adhesives to keep my heart from running off.

IV.
fuck in the AM with papers all over the floor. the homework i never finished writing & the cupcakes you were intent on baking. i think that's how i wanted it. cold hangs even in the spring. separates like oil & water in the morning rush. i've had enough waiting, enough for my tastes at least which doesn't say much unless at a quarter century you've figured your taste out. but i'm stuck watching the hands of the clock turn into the future & dna & rna & configurations boom boom boom & you're here. you're here & i've still got it, & if i walk out right now it would probably be the safest decision for the both of us.

V.
<qed = i've still got ittt.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 07:23:45 GMT

all my forbidden unsaids being said. i'm finally at a loss for words.
our requiem will play until this blunt burns out.
another friendship dead.
fuck you. me, everything

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:41:48 GMT

being numbed up 24/7 is my only aspiration for 2009.

feeling just makes you so fucked up.

memoriess

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:15:06 GMT

Been hearing about you. All about your disapproval. Still I rememebr the way
I used to move you. I wrote you a letter. I heard it just upset you. Why don't
you tell me? How can I do this better? Are you out there? Do you hear me? Can
I call you? Do you still hate me? Are we talking? Are we fighting? Is it over?
Are we writing? We're getting older. But we're acting younger. We should be
smarter. It seems we're getting dumber. I have a picture of you and me in
Brooklyn. On a porch, it was raining. Hey, I remember that day. And I miss you.

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:56:20 GMT

new years eve. on the floor of my bedroom spooning 120$ worth of alcohol with my bestfriend. no resolutions. life goes around in these depressing circles, & circles, & circles.

I have family over but the idea of putting on the "im alright" face & going downstairs is too much. im definitely not up for socializing tonight. not to mention i loathe them all anyway. we'll see.

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 03:15:40 GMT

outside influences that made me happy today since i remain completely incapable of making myself happy:
1. justin's emergency "operation: blow ya back out, blow ya back out, ehhhhh".
2. the requiem for a dream soundtrack. my life revolves around every track.
3. losing my shitty soul corroding job & ensuing a 400$ shopping spree.

alright (alright) okay (okay) i don't dance (don't dance). no way (no way).
i just take my louis rag out & wave it around in the air.
take my gucci rag out & wave around in the air.

to no one in particular..

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:02:20 GMT

tell me something juicy.

chad muska edition

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 16:48:44 GMT

http://www.suprafootwear.com

they look like wrestling boots, but damn i want a pair.

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:47:30 GMT

a confusing & fascinating past few days..

its me against you baby, & i fight my wars guerrilla style.

& yo.. the new erykah badu album is beyond brilliant.

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 18:53:25 GMT

dammed rain.

& oh.

ancient run dmc records played as loud as the stereo will go is working its way onto the very top of my list.

[[you must read this in a thick colombian accent]]

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:08:44 GMT

yes, george i stole your california connection! SO WHAT!? who introduce you to Pablo Escobar, eh? ME! ME! who introduce you to your beauttiful colombian wife? ME! who protect you when my good friend Sesar Rosa wanted to SLIT YOUR FUCKEEN THROAT! HUH? ME? me! who help you make millions and illions of dollars? me! and what do i get? This..... ACCUSATIONS! Its Over GEORGE you are OUT! So GO HOME..... to your stupid little life, and sell half grams to your relitives....... GOOD BYE, GEORGE! BYE, BYE!.............. bye.....................bye...............................................bye.

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 19:12:45 GMT

last night i dreamt of shoplifting a nelly furtado CD from walmart.

how effing weird.